Sara and Ben from ‘Love Is Blind’ Season 8 Raise the Question: Can a Couple Overcome Political Differences?

The pair seem to be hitting it off—that is, until one reveals they didn’t vote in the last election.

February 17, 2025

Photo of Sara and Ben Love Is Blind Season 8

Editor’s note: This article contains spoilers for Love Is Blind season 8, streaming on Netflix now.

When it comes to politics in relationships, the rules aren’t exactly clear. For some, potentially divisive beliefs are private, personal, and nobody’s business—let alone anything you’d ever discuss on a first date. For others, though, knowing where your partner stands on key issues or core values isn’t just a casual conversation—it’s a nonnegotiable you have to know before even thinking about long-term potential. And as one couple on Love Is Blind season 8 is proving, clashing views can quickly shake up even the strongest connections.

While getting to know each other in the pods, Ben Mezzenga and Sara Carton seem to be hitting it off—until the conversation turns to politics in the season’s fourth episode. Carton says that social movements and activism are “really important” to her; Mezzenga, on the other hand, admits that he’s “kind of ignorant towards that stuff,” and “didn’t vote in the last election.” When Carton asks about the Black Lives Matter movement in particular, Mezzenga adds that he prefers to “keep out of it”—all answers that don’t sit well with his soon-to-be fiancée.

Ultimately, Carton decides to give their connection a shot…at least for now, after Mezzenga expresses his willingness to grow. “I just hope my partner is wanting to learn and [be] able to empathize with others and put themselves in other people’s shoes,” she explains.

Whether her decision has you thinking “Good for her for keeping an open mind!” or yelling “Noooo, why!!!” at the TV, it’s hard not to wonder: Should political differences be a total deal-breaker? Or is there a way to make it work if you don’t see eye to eye?

Is a relationship doomed if you have completely different political views?

Whether or not a relationship can weather opposing ideologies depends on a few things, like how much politics matter to you in the first place. According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a New York City–based clinical psychologist, it can be hard to sustain anything long-term if one person is deeply invested in civic engagement and the other couldn’t care less—or the two hold completely contradicting opinions. In these cases, conflict isn’t just likely—it’s practically inevitable, Dr. Romanoff tells SELF.

That said, certain disagreements tend to be easier to navigate than others, Dr. Romanoff says—like about specific environmental policies, say, or tax plans. Sure, you might occasionally bicker over where government spending should be allocated, but those kinds of debates usually focus on logistical preferences rather than beliefs about right and wrong. Because of this, she says, it’s much easier to brush these differences aside without letting them threaten your connection.

Where things get complicated, however, is when “political stances reflect deeper moral values and worldviews,” Janet Bayramyan, LCSW, licensed psychotherapist at Road to Wellness in Los Angeles, tells SELF. “For some people, these ideologies represent a fundamental part of their identity and how they engage with the world.”

That may explain why political apathy raises a red flag for Carton in particular. “I love to learn about other viewpoints, as long as there’s a discussion,” she tells Mezzenga. “But basic human rights, equality—I need someone to be on the same page with me. That speaks volumes about who you are as a person and morals and values and how you think of others.”

After all, government decisions don’t just affect abstract concepts—they have real, tangible impacts on people’s lives, safety, and rights, influencing everything from finances to health care access to reproductive rights. So if you’re queer, for example, dating a potential partner who doesn’t support LGBTQ+ rights may feel like a threat to your freedom to live authentically—and, therefore, like a reason to walk away. The same goes for anyone whose identity is deeply tied to racial justice (as in Carton’s case): Being with someone who’s indifferent to these causes can feel like a rejection of everything you stand for and, by extension, you, Bayramyan points out. So when these opinions clash, it might not just be about disagreeing; Bayramyan says, “It can lead to feelings of misalignment, emotional disconnection, as well as disrespect.”

How to deal with a partner with different political views

You don’t have to reach a middle ground on every hot button issue, but both experts agree it boils down to a mutual willingness to listen, learn, and engage with each other’s perspectives.

That said, if you’re simply not understanding each other’s POVs or can’t find common ground, it’s necessary to, at the very least, respect that they’re entitled to their beliefs—which, FWIW, you don’t have to accept yourself. “It’s not inherently closed-minded to walk away,” Bayramyan explains. “If your political differences feel too fundamental to reconcile, then moving on can be viewed as a valid choice for some people.”

To kick off these important conversations, the experts we spoke with share a few tips for discussing your clashing ideologies respectfully and productively. That way, you can figure out if there’s potential for your romance.

Listen to understand, not to debate. “This means entering the conversation with the goal of understanding your partner rather than trying to change their mind,” Dr. Romanoff says. In other words, ask why they haven’t voted in years, say, or why they’re disconnected from certain social movements before jumping into rebuttal mode.
Use “I” statements to express your concerns. Don’t say “you’re so ignorant,” when you really mean “I care deeply about XYZ, and I’m wondering if you could elaborate on your perspective.” The latter approach, Bayramyan says, helps you express yourself without making your partner feel blamed or judged, which should encourage more open discussions rather than defensive and pointless back-and-forths.
Focus on your shared values. It’s easy to zero in on what divides you, which is why it can be helpful to spotlight the beliefs you have in common. Maybe you’re registered with different parties, but you can both agree that racism is a problem and that there should be stricter gun control. And if those shared viewpoints don’t hold enough weight to keep your connection going (or you don’t have enough biggies in common), that’s a major realization in itself.

“If you did your best in fully communicating your feelings and have given your partner the space to do the same, yet you’re still unable or unwilling to work through it, then it may be time to end the relationship,” Dr. Romanoff says. Because in certain situations, “agreeing to disagree” may not lead to the peaceful compromise or tidy resolution you hope for.

Ultimately, it’s up to both of you to decide whether your differences are something you can respect and accept—or if they’re a deal-breaker you just can’t come to terms with. And as for this Love Is Blind season 8 couple? Well, we don’t know yet, so we’ll have to keep watching to find out if they make it to the altar and say “I do.”